Filed under: 30 days of beauty
in the spirit of this beautifully inspiring mama…
Filed under: mama being
in the midst of the adventure of parenting, i have found breathing to be of paramount importance…it often feels as if i am encountering selah & jeremiah for the first time over and over again…as they are literally changing (physically, mentally, ect…) every day as i continue to work toward my own continued growth and change (which sometimes compete with their immediate demands and interests)…
i had one of those days with selah today…she is so faithful to her fire…not compromising easily (if at all) in the way she wants things…NOW…and today it just felt like attempting to wield her fire demanded more creativity than i had the energy to muster up…and thankfully i feel like i am at a point in my development that i am able to make peace with that…she encountered some real boundaries in my capacity for today…and tomorrow (really each moment) offers new potential for shifting, emerging creativity, and change…
i continue to find such wisdom in the notion that our children can be our best teachers…and sometimes they don’t feel like peace-loving, gentle teachers but rather they are experienced as samurai warriors bearing swords. if i can remember to stop in those moments…to breathe deeply…to create a boundary around my own (inalienable human rights) which may ask me to be firm (in a ways that may not feel “nice” (SO hard for me:) and to not allow myself to feel victimized by their ever shifting whims…
there is such a need for on-going shifting throughout their development…and there is such gift and the challenge that comes with each…what a wild dance it can be at times…and i often find it helpful to try to remember that we often (if not always) have a choice in perception… and for me presently with jeremiah i find myself asking questions such as “am i taking this more personally than need be…is it even personal at all or something that he is trying to work out and he are using me (inappropriately) as a sounding board (then i find i am freed up to approach it from a slightly different angle, having created even just a little bit of extra space)…or when it feels like a samurai sword i sometimes look with curiosity to see if there may be something in me that might be cut away to create more space…other times i just have to physically create space…telling him it feels like we are mis-understanding each other and i think it would be better for both of us if we take some time alone to remember to breathe, retreating to our separate bedrooms…
my mom has made the remark in reference to our generation of parents….”you guys just think about it WAY too much!”, she of coarse did not have much time to think at all while parenting 6 kiddos…most of which were 18 months apart:)… and with anything there is the blessing and curse aspect of this seeming reality that we may “think too much” what a gift to be aware of those things we would love to see shift (and even at times be able to contribute to shifting it)…however when the shifting is not in our power what a curse this awareness can feel like at times.
the waters ebb and flow… sometimes raging and seemingly threatening our ability to breathe… and at other times offering gentleness, grace, and healing…there is such importance in attempting to offer ourselves grace and patience…trying to find playfulness in how seriously we might take ourselves at times…
Filed under: thoughts
here is a link to one beautiful mama’s suggestion for response to the devastation and tragedy in haiti…
sometimes there is just no answer to the whys…
Filed under: adventuring, noticing the beauty, self-portraiture experiment
heres to experimenting….
this space
(http://gratitudetransforms.wordpress.com/)
is one that has been created specifically with the intention to give attention to, foster, and nurture gratitude in my life…a practice that i have experienced as significantly transformative…
i have found it to have power to shift perspective…allowing me to find joy even in the midst of the challenges of life that are plenty…
i hope that it may offer you a chance to be reminded of what you might be thankful for, even now, in the midst of it all…
it is truly amazing to me how much that which we give our attention and energy to shapes our experience of reality…why not experiment with how this practice might transform perspective…even now…shifting attention from what might get in your way of acknowledging that which you are thankful for (all of thie things that are not going as we would like, self-judgement, judgement of others…and on and on)…
just simply attempt to notice…welcoming and allowing that which is good and beautiful to color your world (even if it takes getting your hands dirty to dig it up).
Filed under: creating
it is good to enter a new year…a chance to step back, reflect on the year that has been and bring hope and intention to the year to come…it is also fairly loaded (at least the expectation i find myself bringing to it…and that seems to be brought to it many others…as with the lofty resolutions that are often set, most are statistically dissolved by march)…and yes…i have already disappointed myself in this (3 day old) new year…encountered (in its finite-ness) the reality of this being human and the ups and downs that come with it…my unfailing inability to be perfect…
and… i will continue to allow in this coming year…to bring gracious (even loving) welcome to myself even in this midst of this ongoing reality…attempting to offer grace and recognize that it is not only in the turning from one year to the next that there is found opportunity for new perspective and beginnings but this potential resides in each second…
as i have been speaking intentions into being for the next year it has been fun to play around with paper and pen…seeing what unfolds…finding it therapeutic and a great way to work through old fear and doubt…attempting to move into something new and loving…
i hope you too are finding ways to offer yourself welcome and grace in this new year…
Filed under: mama being
oh that such a small being can ignite so much life… what a gift… i am so honored to be her mama…
yesterday was one of those days that a lot of fire arose in me…which is something i often have difficulty welcoming…i had such little patience and was quick to anger. my natural tendency when this arises tends to be to dissociate…buried in shame and guilt… feeling bad for those around me that have to endure the surfacing fire, that not even i know the origins of completely…
and though residing and being present in and to that space did not feel good initially…i decided to try an experiment…in the spirit of the committment i made to myself nearly a year ago…playing with this whole notion of allowing…and i found that when i was conscious of releasing myself from the unrealistic expectation of who and what i “should” be in every moment…i was able to see the cleansing work that was in process…as if a fire was clearing out the unresolve, the lingering residue of both conscious and unconscious origin…
these spaces demand the definition of definitive boundaries and that my need be asserted in order to allow the fire to do its work…letting my children know that i needed space to ground and breathe (as we often remind them to do)…modeling the reality that when fire arises (as it will) there is something in us that needs to emerge and be given voice and we are being asked to wield its power in generative ways…and the gift that allowing this fire can be… facilitating transformation and potential for renewed perspective and clarity…
we have been noticing (though it doesn’t require much attention) how many busy mama, (papa), and grandmother spiders there are finding a home under the eaves of our roof…
in our crowded, busy lives we seldom have the chance to slow down and inquire as to what lessons we may gleam from the things that show up in our lives (including even that small things…like these amazingly diligent spiders)… noticing what the earth and her beautiful creatures may be reflecting back…
not too long ago in our history as a species we paid close attention to these wise teachers… and so i became curious and inquired and came across this interpretation of what she , this beautiful grandmama spider may be asking us to pay attention to…
the following is a bit of what i came upon as i considered the ancient insights of those who have come before us, who noticed what amazing teachers we have access to in our midst at all times…in the fabric of our eco-system that we live and breathe, but often take for granted…
“Many stories exist about the weaver, Grandmother spider, her web bound all things together and formed the foundation of earth. In another story she carried on her back the gift of fire in a basket that she wove and presented it to the people…
These legends give the spider a link to the past and the future, birth and creation. When the spider crawls into our awareness it is asking us to rebuild the web of our life in accordance with the design the creator gave us.
Spiders differ from insects in having eight legs rather than six and in having the body divided into two parts rather than three. The number eight laid on its side is the symbol for infinity. The number two implies the union of two forces joined together. Together they equal ten. Drop the zero and you are back to the starting point of one. The hidden message of spider is unity.
The construction of a web is linked to the geometry of creation. In the construction of an orb web the spider releases a sticky silken thread into the wind. If the breeze carries the thread to a spot where it sticks the first bridge is formed. Spider cautiously crosses the line reinforcing it with a second. This process continues until a frame is constructed in which the web can secure itself. Bridges serve as a link tying all things together and remind us of our interconnectedness to all life.
The spider shows us that the past, the present and the future are all interwoven. It awakens our intuitive creative senses and encourages us to design the fabric of our lives from our souls original intention.
Because spiders are actually very delicate they embody the energy of gentleness. Spiders are not usually aggressive unless they are defending their lives. They move forward in all situations with a gentle strength. In man, the bite of a poisonous spider symbolizes a death, rebirth process. Poison enters the nervous system and the body either transmutes it or falls victim to its venom and dies.
The spider signifies the tapestry of life. The web we weave is the reality we experience. Choosing the appropriate path is one of the lessons associated with the spider.”
such a generous and wise teacher…
who are the teachers in your life that may offer you some insight and encouragement toward living life in a fuller way… what are these many teachers reflecting back to you today?
welcome fear
if it arrives
make it at home
re-assure it
allow it to rest
in the peace that comes with trust
it is tired of the fight
that is it’s existance
ask it what it has to teach you today
about holding too tightly
about this needing to know
about peace
