my life has included a lot of movement…at least ten moves with my family before i launched into adulthood at 18 and i continued to not stay put for long…japan, belize, maine, massachusetts, pennsylvania, indiana, new york, back to mass, idaho, and back to maine…not to mention that within each of these locations there seemed to be a pattern of a yearly moves to a new setting.
these later, adult moves, were reverberations of a combination of things including: a leaning into and opening up to listening deeply to how i might more fully embody how i and we (with justin and now our family) might be equipped to most fully embody our dharmic contribution to the healing of suffering, both our own and the worlds, requiring at times, a bit of hunting down, and indeed much wrestling, as jacob did beside the jabok, not letting go until god blessed him, which turned out to be with a limp; and at times leaning in, being held, and responding to the limitless grace that has unfolded as i have made myself willing to deeply listen; as well as other logistical considerations and pursuits of finding home and a place in this wild world.
with many of the moves to different places on the map in my adult life i have considered claiming my full name, kathryn, as I have always deeply admired it, but didn’t quite feel like i was grown up enough for it or that it quite fit. so, when i went to introduce myself in all the new settings we roamed, katy re-became and has stayed my name, a name i also love and embodies much of who i am and have become.
i have been sitting with the consideration of asking that people call me kathryn for some time now, knowing that there will certainly be an awkwardness in this, for myself and others…and i also feel strongly that now has become the time for a re-newed and more full expression of who i am and who i am becoming and hope to more fully become that it seems the name kathryn embodies.
each year around my birthday i am intentional about taking time to reflect on the past year and to move in to the next year with intention and somehow this taking my given name plan has hatched, as i have been hunting, listening, and leaning in with both volition and surrender. so to what ever degree you want to move into this shift with me, i welcome…we can dance in the awkwardness together and see how it all lands and unfolds, a kind of experiment infused with playfulness.
with deep gratitude and hopes for courage, that you may claim your healing power for the sake of the world…whatever your name may be.
Beautiful, Kathryn—the inquiry, the request, the name, the woman, all beautiful! I honor your courage to let the movement of Eros unfold from within you, letting yourself be seen. How lovely, the way “taking” your “given” name seems to reflect the call to “take” the seat which has always been there, but which is fully given in the taking / claiming. BTW, my name changed itself when I was 33 and pregnant for the first time–daunting to ask people to change what they call you, but completely possible!
many blessings,
Eisho
Again dear Eisho, you deeply bless me and I am so very deeply grateful, beyond words in fact:) Thank you, thank you for your gracious and open heart and encouragement, a gift of grace. Much much love and deep appreciation!