we have explored a few of these portland trails…so many cool spots to check out…this one is a fairly short walk along the river with beautiful views along the way…a perfect spring morning activity.
Category Archives: mama being
my yoga practice this morning
when i first started practicing yoga, when jeremiah was just over a year old, i was rather dogmatic about my time on the mat, if i couldn’t have at least an hour un-interupted, then it was not worth it and any interuption to that was a frustration and stirred up resentment. my relationship to my yoga practice continues to evolve and be shaped by a broadened understanding of the deeper work of yoga.
at some point along the way my mat became a somewhat permanent fixture on our living room floor and asana (the physical postures or stretches of yoga) infiltrated our days. my relationship became much more fluid and open, still carving out time, but also taking 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there to stretch and be pressent, and even welcome play with jeremiah and selah (it is a great assist to have them sit on hips in child’s pose:) or we set up their mat next to mine when i am in a place where i need space, a breather. my mat also serves as a visual reminder that yoga is so much bigger than asana, it is a way of being in and engaging the world, and is a moment to moment practice and it prompts me to root in in the pressent, notice my breathe, bring my attention to what is pressent and how it might be shifted.
this morning i rose early to attend to my carved out, uninterupted practice time and selah awoke minutes after and came to join me…and my practice evolved into playing farm with her as the sun came up. though my immediate reaction to hearing her stir was “please go back to sleep, so i can have MY time”…it slowly faded as i tapped into the deep and transformative yoga practice of truly being pressent to her, as we drank tea, fed the animals, and went swimming in the river.
the extraordinary will take care of itself
Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is a way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples, and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.
William Martin, The Parent’s Tao Te Ching
keep walking
though the steps may not be clear
when direction is rooted in the heart
the way is right there in front of you
not just bliss
maintaining “balance” is a pre-carious undertaking…again i defer to the wisdom of a tree…the more expansive and healthy the roots the more capacity there is to support the growth of its branches and sustain the inevitable winds of life… and in the context of the juggling act that it can all be, my awareness of the importance of my own rooting in and nourishing my roots it foundational, creating space to reside in the infinite, and at the same time making peace with my being finite. this space comes at an early cost, rising before the sun and the kids to spend time on my mat initiating the day seeking equilibrium, though even in silence and intention equilibrium is illusive, as distraction and pre-occupation are deeply rooted, and with the many complexities of the day-to-day living it allows for the potential of continuing to extend grace, gaining more clarity on my pre-occupation and distractedness….trusting that my devotion and practice will allow for clarity to continue to inform my way of being in the world (even if just in glimpses)…
and the practice of yoga, i will argue is more who you are and what you take off the mat with you. in the classes i offer (per my phoenix rising yoga therapy training) i always encourage space to reflect on awareness that may have arisen during practice and acknowledging the insight as an opportunity to attend to and bring deepened awareness to our way of being off the mat. as often the things that arise on our mats and in our practice are links to our way of being in the world and when we are given (or prioritize taking) the opportunity in practice to be more fully present to what is arising, ideally that we begin to facilitate more awareness in our daily lives…
and awareness does not immediately equal ease, as in my experience it can initially feel like a set back on some levels, in that though we are aware, we do not always have the capacity with our gained awareness to make the shift that the awareness may require (or be asking for). to make this more concrete…pressently and specifically relevant to my parenting. i am encountering the consequences of my assuming a certain posture in my parenting (which for the most part seemed to work well with our first-born, who was much more responsive to re-direction), with my subconscious desire to maintain the peace with our second, my compliance with her demands and perceived needs have facilitated her assumption that she can have it her way immediately, and the way she is asserting that impression is becoming less and less attractive. at the same time i am becoming more and more aware of the fact that not only is this not serving her now, it certainly will not serve her in the future…and yes i have been aware of this pattern for some time and yet in the moment to moment of her asserting her perceived needs and my not having the energy to resist, the pattern has continued. i am aware too that the expectation of “perfection” in navigating the huge job that parenting is not only unrealistic but not at all helpful. and i am mindful of the variables and limitations i am up against in any given moment, for example when i get home from working a long day for example and the strong desire for everyone to “just get along”, but also recognize the importance of shifting this pattern even in the midst of these perceived obstacles.
with my committment to nurture the awareness that this journey of parenting is presently a foundational underpinning of my present spiritual path…i also encounter the reality that it indeed is all spiritual, not just the times of ecstasy and bliss but also and even especially the daily resistance that insists upon my continued growth…and this certainly does not feel (or look or sound) blissful or ecstatic…and i trust that with practice and attention the roots of my being will have opportunity to expand and be strengthened and my hope is that my branches will become better equipped to bear good, adaptive, and healthy fruit even in the midst of the wild winds of life.
(some great suggestions for practices are found here: essential parenting)
she is 3
the days have been full and fast in theses parts…as i imagine most of you can resonate with… trying my best to cultivate slowness and presence in the midst of it and sometimes i do better than others…
cultivating the practice of extending grace not only to others in this season of abundant expression…but also attempting to extend the same grace to myself…even with the ups and downs and backs and forths…and isn’t that indeed what it is a series of…
and i am thankful for this beautiful and incredible teacher, whose birthday we just celebrated and how she demands my continued forward movement…challenging my assumptions and asking me to grow in ways i never imagined possible…certainly not a pain free process…always presenting doors that hold continued opportunity for opening…never toward a place of stagnant arrival…
recognizing too, the importance of my yoga practices that root me and allow glimpses of residing in the eye of the storm that life can feel like at times, even if my practice is simply being conscious of breathing through it with intention and presence…
this here boy of mine
i see him bravely navigating new territory (which asks me too into places of new discovery)…
his curious exploration of this complex world inspired by wonder is bumping into the inevitable struggle with the lack of sense it all makes at times…
i witness his encountering both the joys and the pains of being…and though there is part of me that wishes i could protect him from the pain, this is part of the rich texture…
so continue to climb my courageous boy, i will do my best to spot you as you continue to explore the wild, untamed terrain of living.
when you are alone
the only one who is watching
when we are alone
is benevolent presence
showering grace and welcome
residing both in and surrounding us
what would life look like if we could but remember…
all of a sudden
“That’s the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they’ve been all along.”
Madeleine L’Engle
what life is all about
“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”
