mama emerging

settling in to home

katypark — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 02:37:53 +0000

it has been quite the season of transition in these parts… and i am deeply grateful to be settling into a new rhythm of what now is. though knowing things will continue to shift, allowing for continued growth, befriending the fact that it seems the only constant thing is change…and so very thankful for a home base to root into and live out from for some time to come.

live the questions

katypark — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 19:00:22 +0000

dig beneath the surface

tapping into with the marrow of the root

expanding, allowing for more expansion

live the questions

as from both the known and unknown arises another

fueling the ferocity of wildfire that allows the new seed to spread and take root

begging of us to persist

demanding that we not retire in the pursuit of living

gratitude

katypark — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 22:07:00 +0000

gratitude is a seed

breaking through the heavy earth

to emerge in the clarity of sky

eyes and heart open

to receive what is expanding toward hope

while rooted in what is.

the ground from which it all emerges

contains the medicine

most needed for deep healing and renewed life.

the beauty that can emerge

katypark — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 19:35:11 +0000

i was reminded on a recent “mushroom hunt” with the munchkins of the life-giving and generative nature of our willingness to be vulnerable…of our being willing to truly recon with that which arises in us, even (and especially) if it is not pretty…as it was so eloquently put by the recently passed, frisky, wise, and radiant honesty of karen hasskarl (of phoenix rising yoga therapy)…”our shit can be our (and others’) fertilizer”……when we dare to encounter that which arises, and even have the courage to share our journey with others, opportunity for healing and transformation emerge.

start here.

katypark — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 13:52:11 +0000

right where you are

welcome yourself in this moment

as you allow compassion to take root

fear loosens its grip

the edges soften

judgement ceases

life emerges

chasing bubbles

katypark — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 03:05:30 +0000

it has been awhile…as tends to be the trend in the summer months..energy absorbed outward into the beautiful days of summer in maine. we are soaking up every last bit of it as we gear up for the start of fall…it has been a full summer…lots of sunning, swimming, working, driving, adventuring, and making bubbles.

blowing bubbles, chasing bubbles, popping bubbles, repeat.

as i was looking back over some photos from the summer i was stuck by the metaphor that may be considered in this scenario…especially in light of my current process.

…(entertain me:)…so this bubble (of hope, dream, aspiration, inspiration) is blown out from the safety of the bucket, and if it survives the launch…the direction of the wind or the consistency of the bubble concoction (self-doubt, question, money, time, ect. ect.) we get to chase it (or of course let it be…which may be the more zen option here).

but chasing the bubble is ideally fun, but it does not always feel fun, like when someone (your younger sister for example) pops it before you have brought is into full fruition or before you get to pop it, but again, ideally it is fun…(this tapping into one’s bliss, the fullness of one’s thriving and contribution to the world), and the ride can be exciting and it can feel like everything is lining up beautifully.

and the popping of the bubble, which is not automatically (for our purposes) depressing (images of shattered dreams and the like)…

i witness my children pop the bubbles with so much joy and exileration…a huge reward for all of their efforts….and see them quickly continuing on to blow yet more.

and yet this adult mind may interpret this turn of events as failure, or a lack of clarity when releasing the bubble into the atmosphere…(it must have been unrealistic, not based in reality, i must have been chasing a fantasy). but no, this popping is rather an opportunity to land us again with what is, welcoming me to play with the reality of gravity that we all live in the midst of.

there are lots of things that we all want and this beast of want is relentless and will having us chasing bubbles until we collapse in fantasy and discontent. it is in the popping of the bubbles that we are asked to recon with what is, to land, to root into the earth in which we reside, to make peace with the context we find ourselves in (though not perfect, dreamy, or always thriving). from that place we might dare blow another one, from this earth, from this hope or dream…

the bubble (not to mention that which holds it all together) does not in fact own us anything, and we continue to do the best we can with the resources and capacities we have to send it out the best we can, nurture it, (or play with it, or chase it) and each time is lands back on earth, pick it up, learn from it, refine it, gather our courage (or playfulness), and let it launch again.

when the sky is gray

katypark — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 19:09:06 +0000

life has a way of slowing down a bit, especially in the midst of the fleeting days of summer in maine… i always appreciate an occasional gray day. my energy and attention is much more external in the summer, which leaves this space quite neglected…and i realize too how grounding making my way to this space is.

i was looking through the collection of unpublished beginnings i have archived and thought it might be fun to resurrect them and send them off…snap shots of the past that have been laying dormant, unfinished percolations, incomplete ruminations…cleaning out the virtual clutter that may free a new chapter in the blogosphere with the coming of a slower season…well at least for today anyways…

the original title of this post was “inspiration”…such an amazing thing to witness emerge in my children…as if there is a vision that simply must be born onto paper or in imagination and it will not allow them to be still until it has its way.

and i am slowly learning that inspiration is no guarantee for longevity…releasing expectation that if i have it today it would be a failure to not have it tomorrow. there is a beautiful prayer that taps into a similar notion that it offered before offering reiki healing:

“ Just for today, I will not worry
Just for today, I will not anger
Today, I will live honestly
Just for today, I will respect the oneness of all life
Just for today, I will be kind to everyone I meet
Just for today, I will show gratitude to all living things”

though this is my hope for each day, there is something noble and honest about re-naming it each day…as today is all we have to work with.

so, just for today i will play with digging through the archives and seeing what inspiration may emerge…who knows what tomorrow or the next day might bring?

start where you are

katypark — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 22:05:02 +0000

start where you are

the way is made by putting one foot in front of the other

in this moment

where is it that we seem to be so restlessly trying to get to

if it is not here that life resides, when is it that we suspect it will emerge

we may come upon the “there” place and then “there” continues to go out before us

drop in

listen

allow the awareness of being there even here arrive

and sit with it

in this moment

all worthy

all welcomed

all loved

presence and pushing

katypark — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 17:06:19 +0000

i hope this finds you so very well and enjoying the beautiful days of summer…i continue to stand open jawed in awe of how quickly time passes!

i am finding that the line, of presence both to what is and what might be, very thin indeed these days. with energy invested in potentials it can be challenging to be grounded in being present.

i sense however that this is the tension we are asked to ride if we are to grow and live more fully into the brilliant creation that was intended in and through us. though i have grown opposed to the concept of balance i acknowledge and i am coming to peace with the experience that this sweet spot in the tension is hard to come by…this concept of “balance” seems to require constant shifting, flexibility, and willingness to endure the labor pains that seem to come with expanding into a new way of being or perceiving.

i am a big fan of birthing and there is such wisdom found in its process…there will inevitably be contractions when we are opening to the unknown and if we can hang in there, working with vs. resisting the presence of pain, doubt, or uncertainty, the contraction will allow for facilitated opening into new life which may not even be possible without them.

although we are done bringing more physcical babies in the world, i think that there are all sorts of metaphysical babies being asked to be born, by each of us, for the healing and expansion of the world and when contraction is experienced, i am experimenting with leaning into it, knowing that if i continue to push through, there is something beautiful waiting to be born that might emerge.

held

katypark — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 20:37:12 +0000

the infinite sky, the birds, the ocean of witnesses

speak of our being held

echo that we have all that we need

as waves of that ocean, not separate

ebbing, flowing, rising, falling

give us courage to befriend even the darkness

grant us sight where fear blinds us

one foot in front of the other

lean into the gracious and forgiving light